I'm Known As the ‘Boys Have a Penis’ Kid from the Arnold Schwarzenegger Comedy: An Interview.
Arnold Schwarzenegger is universally recognized as an Hollywood heavyweight. But, in the midst of his blockbuster fame in the late 20th century, he also delivered several genuinely hilarious comedies. The standout film is Kindergarten Cop, which marks its three-and-a-half decade milestone this winter.
The Role and That Line
In the 1990 movie, Schwarzenegger embodies a hardened detective who masquerades as a kindergarten teacher to locate a fugitive. For much of the story, the crime storyline serves as a basic structure for the star to film humorous moments with his young class. The most unforgettable features a child named Joseph, who out of nowhere rises and informs the stoic star, “Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina.” Arnold responds dryly, “Thank you for that information.”
That iconic child was played by child star Miko Hughes. His career included a recurring role on Full House as the schoolyard menace to the child stars and the haunting part of the resurrected boy in the screen translation of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. He continues to act today, with multiple films in development. Additionally, he frequently attends popular culture events. Not long ago recalled his recollections from the production 35 years later.
Memories from the Set
Interviewer: First, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?
Miko Hughes: I believe I was four. I was the youngest of all the kids on set.
That's impressive, I don't recall being four. Do you retain any flashes from that time?
Yeah, somewhat. They're brief images. They're like visual recollections.
Do you recall how you landed the job in Kindergarten Cop?
My parents, primarily my mom would accompany me to auditions. Sometimes it was a mass tryout. There'd be 20, 30 kids and we'd all simply wait around, enter the casting office, be in there less than five minutes, do whatever little line they wanted and that's all. My parents would help me learn the words and then, when I became literate, that was some of the first material I was reading.
Do you have a specific memory of meeting Arnold? What was your take on him?
He was extremely gentle. He was enjoyable. He was pleasant, which I guess makes sense. It would have been odd if he was unpleasant to all the kids in the classroom, that probably wouldn't make for a positive atmosphere. He was great to work with.
“It would have been odd if he was mean to all the kids in the classroom.”
I knew he was a huge celebrity because I was told, but I had never really seen his movies. I sensed the excitement — it was exciting — but he wasn't scary to me. He was simply playful and I was eager to interact with him when he had time. He was working hard, but he'd kind of play with us here and there, and we would dangle from his limbs. He'd show his strength and we'd be dangling there. He was incredibly giving. He gifted all the students in the classroom a Sony Walkman, which at the time was like an iPhone. That was the must-have gadget, that funky old yellow cassette player. I used to rock out to the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for years on that thing on that thing. It eventually broke. I also received a real silver whistle. He had the teacher's whistle, and the kids all received one too as well.
Do you remember your experience as being fun?
You know, it's funny, that movie became a phenomenon. It was such a big movie, and it was such an amazing experience, and you would think, in retrospect, I would want my memories to be of the star himself, working with [director] Ivan Reitman, the location shoot, being on a professional set, but my memories are of being a really picky eater at lunch. Like, they got everyone pizza, but I wasn't a pizza fan. All I would eat was the meat from the top. Then, the first-generation Game Boy was brand new. That was the hot thing, and I was pretty good at it. I was the youngest and some of the older kids would bring me their Game Boys to beat difficult stages on games because I could do it, and I was felt accomplished. So, it's all childhood recollections.
The Infamous Moment
OK, the penis and vagina line, do you remember anything about it? Did you know what you were saying?
At the time, I wasn't fully aware of what the word provocative meant, but I understood it was edgy and it made adults laugh. I was aware it was kind of something I wouldn't usually utter, but I was given an exception in this case because it was comedic.
“She really wrestled with it.”
How it was conceived, according to family lore, was they didn't have specific roles. Certain bits of dialogue were part of the original screenplay, but once they had the entire ensemble assembled, it was more of a collaboration, but they refined it on set and, presumably the filmmakers came to my mom and said, "We're thinking. We want Miko to say this. Are you okay with this?" My mom paused. She said, "Give me a moment, I need time" and took some time. It was a tough call for her. She said she wasn't sure, but she believed it will probably be one of the unforgettable moments from the movie and her instinct was correct.